I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
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Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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