I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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