the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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