just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
