I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize