he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
did i walk over a car last night?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
