Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
