First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just had sex bonerless
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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