If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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