The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
