so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
