Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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