All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
