I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
