ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
