I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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