Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
