This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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