Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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