I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
