no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
