if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
