He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
