My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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