I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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