There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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