It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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