Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can't turn off my feet"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
