btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
