How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
