I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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