hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
