the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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