Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My balls are so social today.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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