Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
