Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
