would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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