you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
