Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
