Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
