yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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