He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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