Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
