shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
