Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My penis needs a shock collar
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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