Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you didnt know i had herpes?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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