A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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