I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My vagina is officially offended.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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