Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
