I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
