nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
