the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
