i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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