dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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